Pack up

There is such dearth of entertainment in Pakistan that you are often left wondering on a weekend where to go to find it, especially if you have kids. In 2012, things are going to change as far as entertainment is concerned. My crystal ball reveals that 2012 will be a fun year, of which the signs are already evident.
There will be a sudden increase in the appearance of ‘shouting’ heads on the numerous talk shows on TV. And if we are lucky we might just get to witness not merely slips of the tongue and foot in the mouth but some real-life fistfights. Aahh, the small pleasures of the 180 million (not necessarily counting the few thousand more privileged among them).
The fun couldn’t wait for the dawn of the New Year, so it has already begun. It gave the people of the country something to smile about despite the tense times they saw in the Old Year. The first episode(s) occurred during the illness of our exalted leader.
As we all remember there was a constant media buzz, with politicians of all shades – and shapes and sizes – making statements 24/7 trying to outdo their colleagues in their frenzy. In this frenzy some very important politicians suffered attacks of the most common syndromes of Pakistani politics – i.e., slip of the tongue and foot in the mouth (reminds you of the bovine foot and mouth disease) to the delight of the audience, as well of the channels, which eagerly used the footage of the attacks to boost their ratings.
To the embarrassment of the government and the ruling party, one of the many revered and vocal leaders, including a great Zardari supporter, kept repeating, “Our corrupt president...”. When he wanted to say something else. Of course, we all go through the tongue-refusing-to-obey-brain syndrome now and then, so one shouldn’t lose too much sleep over it.
Another diehard, extra-vocal supporter was caught on tape saying in a comment related to Mr Z’s health that he prayed to the Almighty to give the president a good place in heaven. Oops!
He immediately applied footbrake, changed gears and ended his sentence praying for the health of the president. We all pray for the good health and long life of our dear president.
However, f the PTI retains its position as the political party to gain the fastest popularity among its voters. It had already entertained the city of Lahore and the rest of Pakistan with its historic rally. The PTI invited performers to entertain the audience in Lahore’s historic gathering.
The PTI’s Kasur gathering made as many headlines. The masses left the rally on a high note with a souvenir: thousands of people were seen fighting for the possession of the chairs used at the rally. PTI workers were also seen trying to wrestle chairs away from those trying to...steal them, shall we say?
Many believe that there are forces trying to sabotage the PTI’s sudden rise, and they could be right. However, party poopers declare that this rally was a staged event, and after the “scene” ended, the “actors” were asked to pack up!
Even “the masses” stealing chairs? But, then, chairs are what the political war in Pakistan is all about, and the president reportedly has the tallest chair in the land.
However, our rising new leader, who has long risen from the status of merely a fine sportsman tried to explain our national sport of stealing other people’s property by saying that the people of Pakistan were so frustrated with the rising inflation, the cost of food that he feared that the time was not far when people would steal chairs from other people’s homes.
I have news: people have been doing worse things than just stealing chairs, they are selling or even killing their own children, as well as committing suicide because they and their families can’t afford to live.

Copyright Thenews 27.12.2011